Is your mind wandering off into the lands of self-induced sexual pleasure like mine was when I heard the phrase ‘vibrating tattoo’?
I guess it’s the word ‘vibrating’ that steered me wrong.
Get your mind out of the gutter if you indeed ventured to the same lands as I did!
Vibrating tattoo is actually a serious piece of new technology and recently uncovered patent filed by Nokia. It’s supposed to be some kind of small membrane attached to the skin that vibrates when the phone calls or receives messages.
Nokia’s patent application introduces this ‘incredible’ technology in these words: “An apparatus (oh, oh…my mind’s wandering off again to those lands…I need therapy or maybe something more practical; remind me not to play word-association games when underage kids are around.)…sorry, let’s start again”.
“An apparatus comprises: a material attachable to skin, the material capable of detecting a magnetic field and transferring a perceivable stimulus to the skin (!!!), wherein the perceivable stimulus (!!!) relates to the magnetic field.”
My mind’s still in the gutter. How can it not be after all this ‘stimulation’?
Well, it definitely is a very strange patent application, but accusing Nokia of turning people into cyborgs? Come on! First of all, Nokia won’t enforce it on us. You want a vibrating tattoo? – Get yourself a vibrating tattoo. Don’t want it? – Get yourself a traditional vibrator… Yeap, still in the gutter… Second of all, many of us are already cyborgs – just look into our dully-robotic work-home-TV-sleep-work routines. Figuratively or literally – what does it matter? If you’re already a brain-off machine-like human being, you’re a cyborg. Vibrating tattoo or not.
My personal opinion? It’s a crazy ass ridiculously dimwitted piece of innovation. Will it have any takers? Well, it depends on whether Nokia will allow us to put this vibrating tattoo anywhere we want to…